The Importance of having friends—what friendship actually is to me

We all come from our own families, and we all also have friends. Children have school friends, and even those friends who might or not go to the same school as theirs, are their friends because they play with them. Teenagers also are the same, and they have friends whom they hang out with and travel to different places with. Adults also have friends, who also are other adults, with whom they share their problems and discuss their solutions.

The people around us play a huge role in our development. We learn things from people around us, from what they do and what they say. We see our elders, friends and other people around and we try to incorporate the plus points that they possess into ourselves and ignore their wrongdoings and learn from their good works. This is how human society works essentially.

The type of influence someone has does play a huge role in shaping one’s life. Influence in the sense that someone sees how the people around him behave, speak, learn, talk, and then incorporate those virtues within himself. If he sees people around him to be hardworking, respectable, those who have respect for others, then naturally someone who grows up in such a scenario will have the same kind of virtues within himself and he will also be hardworking, respecting, obedient, and intelligent. On the contrary, if someone grows up in a scenario in which the people around him are not willing to work, stubborn, argumentative; or exactly opposite of the first case, then the person growing up in that scenario will also have the same kind of nor willing to work hard, stubbornness, disputatiousness/argumentativeness.

This happens because a child mind is like a canvas, and the behaviour and the interaction of the people around him/her is like the colours that a painting has and also the people around him are the painters of the painting of the canvas. The way the people will paint the canvas of his mind, the same way the child’s mind will become. This is the reason that we must have a good set of guiding people for us who do not lead us into any kind of misguidedness.

The reason I made this clear is that having friends is just having people around you, effectively. The way you and your friends behave with each other and the other people around, the same way yours and your friends’ mindsets will become.

A friend is someone who helps his friend in need, and warns him off of something bad. If you have a friend, who helps you whenever you need him, then that friend is your true friend. Also, if you have friends, who tell you to do bad things, and they do the same bad things together with you, are not friends. Let us make this clear with an example. There is a very common bad habit of teenagers, or even young adults. The habit of intake of addictive matter, like cigarettes, alcohol, intake of tobacco, and other addictive harmful items. Friends like this cannot be called friends, because they are putting you into trouble. On the other hand, if you have a friend, who helps you let go of this bad habit of yours, then that friend is your friend, not the other who made you this bad habit. This is what a friend is to me. I think that someone who is cooperative with you, who is helpful for you, is your true friend. Not only has that person who left you when you were in trouble and now claimed that you are successful because of him or with his help.

“A friend in need is a friend indeed.”

This idiom means a lot more than what most people think it to be. Most people only think of their side of the friendship, and say that my friend should do this to me, my friend should do that to me, but never really help their friend when they are in need.

There is a very useful lesson that I learned at school. Let me share it with you. Imagine, you are being made the richest person in the world. You are asked to take one of three things, a friend, a book, or your teacher, whom would you pick. Most students immediately shouted “Book!” Our principal asking us this question then asked, “What if you are being exiled in a desolate island, and you are again asked to take one of the same three things, whom would you pick?” Now literally everyone shouted, “Friend!” Then he taught us something very important. “If you are being a leader, or just a normal person, you should never be as selfish as you are now. Give up your selfishness. Now you would ask me that we didn’t say anything selfish, but let me tell you one thing. When you were being made the richest person in the world, then you didn’t choose your friend, so that you wouldn’t have to share anything with him. But when you were in exile, you immediately chose your friend to help you in your harsh living conditions. Learn to make this correct and an unbiased choice.”

I didn’t understand its true meaning when I was first given this advice, but when I came home from school then my father explained it to me properly and now I truly understand the true meaning of this lesson. The learning is simple. Not only should your friends care for you, but you should also care for them. You should also help them, you should also share with them. Only thinking about your side of the bargain wouldn’t make any difference between you, their friend, and anyone else. Learn and teach sharing and caring with your friends. That’s the true meaning.